Backbends! Some of us love it while most of us are afraid of it. Which one are you?
I've recently learned to love backbending more not
because of its beauty and grace and being in that moment when my foot touches my head ( although it inflates my ego and sense of pride) but because it reminds me of all the pains and struggles that i have to go through and had been through to achieve liberation of the heart.
I could recall that moment when my teacher tells me to "open- your- heart "and " radiate love" which left me feeling vulnerable and 'exposed'...as if the sky is going to fall and hit on my already flat chest. Radiate love? What's that? My mind was challenged through my body and fears were brought to the surface. Then what? My breathing gets more and more shallow and my Ujayyi breath begins to sound like a choo-choo train telling me to shoo shoo! shame, get out of the pose! I was put to the test of working with my limitations - the fear of opening up and letting go. It was very un-victorious indeed but I persisted and chose to trust my practice.
From a physical point of view, backbends massage and exercise my heart pretty much the same way my mother caresses me. Emotionally, it's like a sudden gust of feeling of being in tune to myself and the divine. I also realized there has to be a balance between being in control and letting go -like exhaling to surrender to gravity while engaging the core at the same time. When I keep this in mind, I am able to maintain a decent Ujayyi breath which in turn allows me to deepen the posture ( you should be confused quite a bit by now. So, come to my class).
And being true to life, backbending is no exception in that there are set-backs and pitfalls. You just have to learn to relax and keep trying.
What does 'liberating the heart' means to you? For me, it is self-acceptance and the joy of being compassionate, honest, kind and trusting to the universe.
When you love yourself, you become a powerful radar of pure love. ❤️